Ever wonder if your man is secretly hoping to end your relationship?
Kate Taylor, relationship expert at match.com, reveals the clues you’re
about to lose him – and how to get things back on the right track
1. Critical conditionsThe
Everly Brothers nailed it – ‘starting to criticise little things’ you
do is the most common sign your man has lost that lovin’ feeling. When
you find yourself berated for everything, from the way you chew your
food through to your choice of career, take notice. This behaviour has
been identified by psychologists as, ‘building a case against the
partner you want to leave’, and is often a way of removing guilt (for
example, if your man has found someone else).
Block his exit:
Instead of apologising, bite back with a sassy, funny reply. ‘Forgive
me, O Great One,’ and go about your life as you like. This show of
self-confidence will re-ignite his respect for you.
2. The ‘eye-narrow’Ex
FBI-interrogator Joe Navarro has written many books on body language,
and has identified that when we look at something that arouses
uncomfortable feelings in us – like guilt, or displeasure, or upset – we
unconsciously narrow our eyes. Next time your partner greets you, look
at his eyes: if he seems to squint, pay attention. But if he greets you
with raised eyebrows and dilated pupils, chill – they’re universal signs
he’s seen something he likes.
Block his exit: Disarm him by asking
if there’s anything he’d like to talk about. Squinting eyes are a sign
of repressed feelings – encourage him to open up.
3. His feet face the doorAgain
according to Navarro, our feet are the most honest part of our bodies.
From childhood, we’ve been taught to ‘put on a happy face’ about things,
but we don’t consciously control our feet. When you’re with your man,
see where his feet are facing because that’s a sign of where he wants to
go. If they’re towards you – awesome! But if they’re pointing out of
the door, be prepared for the rest of him to follow.
Block his exit:
If your man’s toes want space, give it to them. Back away for a week
and keep yourself busy with your own fun life. A little distance might
be all it takes to get him walking back your way.
4. He starts breaking datesWhen
a man cancels plans with you, pay attention. Barring emergencies – his
mum’s ill, he’s in hospital or his favourite team are playing at home –
his number one place to be should be by your side. If he begins to avoid
opportunities to get together, it’s a sign he’d rather be somewhere
else.
Block his exit: Never nag him if he cancels a plan, because
then he’ll feel more justified for doing it. Instead, express sadness
and then go about your life. Avoid clingy texts. If he cancels two dates
in succession, pull back for a week.
5. He changes his patternIf
your man doesn’t text you for a day, it’s no big deal. But if he has
always texted you every day then suddenly stops, sit up. Any violent
change in pattern could signal something’s changed in his heart, too. Do
take into account what else is going on in his world (women often
forget this) – is his work hectic, his home-life disrupted? If so,
relax. But if there seems to be no reason, pay attention.
Block his
exit: Keep your interactions with him light and fun. Don’t initiate! If
he’s weighing up whether or not he wants to be your man, give him space
to do it. Don’t trust your instincts to bridge the gap.
6. He avoids intimacyHe
stays up later than you do, doesn’t sleep over, or offers his cheek to
be kissed rather than his mouth. Oops. When a man’s sex drive
diminishes, it’s a signal his feelings are flaccid. Another sign: when
he cuddles you, he pats you on the back. This is a body-language
giveaway that always means, ‘I want this hug to end now.’
Block his
exit: Never, ever nag. Pretend you haven’t noticed the lack of passion,
and just watch him for other signals listed here. If he has two or more
of them, realise he’s drifting away. Sit him down for the Talk.
7. His friends seem uncomfortable around youWhen
his friends go from welcoming to distant, it means they feel
uncomfortable – usually because your man has told them he’s unhappy with
you. They won’t speak out, but they’ll back away from you out of mixed
loyalties and a terror you’ll ask them why your man seems so miserable
lately.
Block his exit: Realise anything you say to his friends will
get reported back to him, so don’t interrogate them about your bloke.
Instead, try to relax and have fun like normal. Even if it doesn’t stop
him leaving, it will ensure his friends all beg him to take you back.
