Marriage Guide for Tough Times By Dr. Phil
1. Acknowledge and work the problem.
2. Identify the stressors in your relationship.
3. Acknowledge fear.
4. Have emotional integrity.
5. Be willing to ask for help. .
6. List priorities, values and goals.
7. Have an action plan.
How to Know a Potential Abuser By Dr. Phil
- Excessive and quick commitment to relationships
- Isolation
- Extremely possessive and jealous, confused with love
- Control of all money
- Name-calling and demeaning
- Threats against you, your children or of suicide for failure to comply (emotional extortion)
- Exhibits cruelty to animals or children
- Takes away choices such as food, fashion, social life
- Chauvinistic
- Excessive monitoring
- Dominating time
- Extreme sense of entitlement
- Blames the victim (“They made me do it”)
- Insecure but presents a false sense of superiority
- Lack of empathy
- Hypersensitivity and victim mentality
- Extreme controlling behavior early on disguised as concern for safety
- Presents dual personalities
- Poor communication skills
- Has unrealistic expectations or demands
Ways of Keeping Boundaries with a “Work Spouse” By Dr. Phil
- A healthy work spouse situation is between people who would never let their friendship venture in to an inappropriate space, and understand that fine line.
- Don't share personal information about yourself at work, especially private details of your marriage. If someone does share personal information with you, tell your spouse so you don't create a secret world your spouse is not aware of.
- Be upfront and honest about the closeness and bond of your real-life relationship.
- Don't be alone with a person of the opposite sex separate from your job. Romantic relationships come out of recreational activities and intimate conversations.
- Don't drink with your work spouse. When you drink, boundaries get blurred.
- Introduce your real spouse to your office spouse, so it isn't exclusive.
- Avoid constantly talking about your office spouse at home. Don't overdo it.
- Aim to keep the mood light and happy with your work spouse so that drama from home doesn't bleed in to what should be a professional relationship.
- Keep the lines of communication open between other co-workers and your real-life spouse so that your work spouse relationship is not interpreted as a clique, or exclusive
Warning Signs You May Be Dating a Married Man By Dr. Phil
- You met in a bar. "If you are meeting for the first time in a bar, that doesn't bode well. So many married men hang out in bars hoping to get lucky," Sarah says.
- He has an indentation or tan line on his ring finger. When you first meet him, look for an obvious sign of a wedding ring that was just removed.
- He pays for dinners and drinks in cash. This could be because he doesn't want a paper trail or credit card bust from his wife.
- He has more than one cell phone and won't give you both phone numbers. "One is for his wife, and one is for his secret life," Sarah says. Also note if he always goes outside to take private calls when he's with you.
- He tends to call you while at the store, walking the dog, getting gas " places he's dashed out to in order to call. "These are places where he's escaped the family home to go out and call you, his secret lover," she says.
- He doesn't reply to your texts for hours and is not available to talk freely in the evenings. He may ask you not to call after certain times. "It's because he's at home with his family and can't answer," Sarah says.
- He's always busy on the weekends and doesn't want to make plans for less than 10 days time. He can't be spontaneous when he has a family to juggle.
- He doesn't introduce you to his friends.
- He finds excuses for why he can't invite you back to his place. "My main message to women out there who might fall for these things is to find a reason to go back to his place. If he won't take you home, there's a reason why," Sarah says.
Warning Signs of a Midlife Crisis By Dr. Phil
- A decrease in weight, a new obsession with exercise and physical appearance.
- Unhappiness with life and lifestyle that previously made him or her happy.
- Boredom with people and things that may have previously been of interest.
- Feeling a need for adventure and change.
- Questioning the choices and decisions he or she has made in life.
- Confusion about who he or she is and where his or her life is headed.
- Anger at his or her spouse and placing blame for feeling tied down.
- Unable to make decisions about where he or she wants to go in life.
- Doubt over ever loving his or her spouse and resentment over the marriage.
- A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.
- A sense a remorse for goals not accomplished.
- Frequent daydreaming or feelings of nostalgia.
- Acting on compulsions with food, drugs or alcohol.
- Greatly increased or decreased sexual desire.
- Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger.
- A desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness.
- Greatly increased or decreased ambition.
Steps to Protect Yourself in an Abusive Relationship By Dr. Phil
1) Listen to yourself and make plans for your safety.
If you feel afraid, there's probably a good reason for your fear. Don't hesitate to reach out for help.
2) Talk to an advocate at a domestic violence program.
These advocates can provide you with support and help and make plans to keep you and your children safe.
3) Talk to your kids about how to keep themselves safe if the situation were to escalate.
This may mean teaching them to call 911 or run to a neighbor's house if they feel threatened.
The Five Biggest Mistakes that Threaten Relationships By Dr. Phil
1.Screen-Sucking
2. Over-Booking
3. No Boundaries
4. Getting Too Busy
5. Drifting Apart
Warning Signs of Future Mother-in-Law Problems By Dr. Phil
- Mother-in-law is insensitive; doesn't respect boundaries
- Mother-in-law is overly dependent on son for emotional and lifestyle support
- Partner clearly puts mother-in-law needs/requests ahead of yours
- Partner talks to mother daily; drops everything when she calls
- Partner values mother's advice and opinions over yours
- Partner runs to mother when arguments occur
- Mother-in-law attacks your character
- Mother-in-law treats her son like he's still a child/competes with you
- During family gatherings, you're overlooked or ignored by mother-in-law
- Mother-in-law actively campaigns against your marriage
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